Friday, April 08, 2005
escape no longer
Any escape might help to smoothThis afternoon for the second time in barely as many months I must travel up the modern American Mississippi to the soul-less heart of the Sprawl. Again I travel to mourn the loss and celebrate the life of another of my oldest and closest friends suddenly struck down by a dormant cancer that woke up and went "terminal in the amount of time it takes for the bullet to leave the barrel and enter the brain".
The unattractive truth
But the suburbs have no charms to soothe
The restless dreams of youth
- Neil Peart
Words fail to describe just how much it fucking sucks.
I have acknowledged, but not yet accepted Chris' death. Holy fuck man, like many others, I'm still grappling to come to terms with Curtis'.
Far too many recent days of gray have slowly faded into the black of a sleepless night.
This afternoon acceptance will force itself ever closer with every mile I travel. At the memorial on Saturday evening I have little doubt that the grim reality will hit me like a brick in the face.
Words fail to describe just how much it fucking sucks.
Suddenly --
You were gone
From all the lives
You left your mark upon
I remember --
How we talked and drank
Into the misty dawn
-- I hear the voices
We ran by the water
On the wet summer lawn
-- I see the footprints
I remember --
-- I feel the way you would
-- I feel the way you would
Tried to believe
But you know it's no good
This is something
That just can't be understood
- Neil Peart
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