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Monday, August 30, 2004

you gotta fight 

for your right to party.

The thought has recently occurred to me, my dear reader, that you and I share certain personality characteristics. If not, you are probably not reading this now.

You may properly suspect we share a sneaking streak of strong libertarianism.

Knowing this, you may be somewhat surprised by my views on a case of interest in the news. (Or, maybe not. The view I hold is essentially one of an inherent right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.)

Because the the case involved is much more complex than just another example of The Man trying to bring you down by asserting His author - I - TAY!

It is not about government imposing its authority over the most sacred of all relationships: marriage; by imposing its will and denying a husband's ability to fulfill the wishes of his wife, of whom some have declared, "she is in a persistent vegetative state with no hope of recovery".

It is not about an individual's right to "refuse treatment and hasten their own deaths if that is what is their wish". It is not about a person's right to die with dignity.

It is about a person's right to live with dignity.

The case of Terri Schindler-Schiavo is back in the courts and back in the news.

Before you go gettin' all hasty and go tryin' to yank out that plug, read these words I never thought I'd utter, imagine or otherwise say or type: I agree with a Bush.

If you have not already done so, please go to Terri Schindler-Schiavo and check out Terri's videos.

I watched them with thoughts of "The Boy can do that", or "The Boy does that", or "The Boy is learning to do that." Six months ago he mostly did not, would not, could not do those things.

And I swear, if you so much as try to tell me that he "is in a persistent vegetative state with no hope of recovery", I'll whip out a can of whoop ass and slam down the whole thing.

In my decade plus as a special education teacher I have worked with and witnessed dozens of children and young adults who, on their good days, are no more responsive than Ms. Shindler-Shiavo. But yet, they are clearly responsive, and subsequently demonstrating the amazing desire and ability of the human mind and spirit to persevere and belong, to love and be loved.

To see these individuals as in a "vegetative state" is dehumanizing. It's offensive, repugnant and just plain wrong.

Hope is never lost, it is let go.

Ms. von Munchausen was often overheard to remark and wrote frequently that The Boy's behavior, his smile, his movement, were caused by "abberent neurological misfirings", she stated on multiple occassions that "he doesn't have a brain."

in her mind, The Boy exists in "a persistent vegetative state". She dehumanized him to justify her abuse.

Six months ago, Ms. von Munchausen could have killed The Boy and nobody in the legal or medical community would have batted an eye. Hell, she tried and would have gotten away with it if not for us meddling kids.

Oh, and, by the way. . .

I love these people.

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Saturday, August 28, 2004

thoughts on parenthood 

I silently approach The Boy as he sleeps.

As we do every night around this time, with a well-practiced gentle slowness, I turn him from his right side to his left.

I do this because it was once believed that if The Boy was left to sleep for more than a couple of hours on one side there is the risk that fluid, primarily but not exclusively from aspiration of his own saliva, will pool in his lungs and he will become quite ill with pneumonia. While medical testing has yet to validate this concern, our experience and superstitions promote its continuance.

Good, I didn't wake him up. . . he's again all snug in his bed and embracing the Sleepy Frog.

I adjust the rate on his Kangaroo enteral feeding pump.

As I look down upon The sleeping Boy and stand in the glow from the red and green LED display on the pump, it occurs to me that this is not the typical life of the parent of a three year old.

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get over it 

That Jesus fellow is oft quoted as saying something about forgiving. So okay, forgive. But never forget.

That being said,

A bag of candy shocked a local grandmother and will most likely shock you.

"Some people deserve to be offended." -- John Cleese, I think

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eighty three days 

is how long it is until The Boy officially one hundred percent becomes Our Boy. . . My Boy. That's what the State Child Protection Agency caseworker told The Wife and I this afternoon. Now, the Official with a capital fucking "o" plan is to finalize the adoption of The Boy in November.

Awesome, fucking awesome. And more than just a tad bit scary, but that's a story for another hour.

A dark cloud still exists that permeates the blue sky of the revelation. The joy is muted and tempered by the anger.

The Good Doctor Noyz has a confession to make, one of which he is far from proud. . .

My first thoughts upon hearing news (if not "the news") I have been waiting for months to hear; these thoughts, were not about The Boy.

They were of Ms. von Munchausen. Yes my dear reader, while the news brought a smile to my face; I must confess it was, initially at least, for the wrong reason. My smile was not inspired for The Love of The Boy, but by my anger at Ms. von Munchausen.

"My only love sprung from my only hate" - Juliet, we all know the author

Rather applicable, if not quite in context or quoted quite accurately.

Nonetheless, this fact exploits my sense of circular logic as it increases my anger and fuels my hatred. This frightens me, but I have learned to live with it.

In my world, Ms. von Munchausen's days are now truly numbered.

In my world, if 'The Boy' officially becomes 'My Boy' in eighty three days, in eighty four days I will finally have the legal authority to start a scream for vengeance that will make Judas Priest proud.

heh heh heh. . .

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Friday, August 27, 2004

miscalculation? 

Bush Acknowledges Iraq 'Miscalculation'

My miscalculations usually only cost a couple of twenty to thirty dollar service charges at the bank.

Dubya's "miscalculation" has cost over ten thousand civilian lives and to date 973 Americans.

Those numbers are still climbing.

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Tuesday, August 24, 2004

1,241 

- number of pages sorted, organized, photocopied, "de-identified" with a sharpie and submitted to the State Board of Nurse Examiners in response to a subpeona for records regarding Ms. von Munchausen and The Boy.

What did you do last weekend?

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Monday, August 23, 2004

slip over the road for a jar 

29 MILLION DAYS LOST TO DRINK

I like to think it would be at least twice that if my dear friend Cardinal Fang had not emigrated.

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Thursday, August 19, 2004

duh 

I wonder how many tax dollars went to fund this.

"This year's survey reveals a tight connection between teen sexual behavior and substance abuse," said Joseph A. Califano Jr., president of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University.

In yet another example of recognizing the obvious, one of the survey's "striking findings":

Forty-four percent of high school students think that boys at their school often or sometimes “push girls to drink alcohol or take drugs in order to get the girls to have sex or do other sexual things.”

High school boys use alchohol or drugs to help them to persuade girls to have sex? NO! Really? Hell, I'm almost forty and I use alcohol and drugs to help me to persuade girls to have sex.

Are people really that shocked by any of this? Are the typical American parents really that freakin' clueless?


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Tuesday, August 17, 2004

touch the monkey 

addressing the aardvark
bolstering the bottom line
charming the chimp
dousing the dog
elevating the elephant
frosting the frog
glistening the glasspipe
hooting and hollering
inflating the idiot stick
jamming the jello pole
kicking the kangaroo
lambasting the loon
mashing the manatee
noodling in neverland
occupying the oligarchy
punishing the pommel horse
quieting the quicksilver
roughing up the skin rod
spit shining the spatula
tarnishing the tarantula
undulating the unicorn
vacillating the vacuum hose
worshipping the wonder worm
xeroxing the xylophone
yodeling in yosemite
zapping the zebra


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Tuesday, August 10, 2004

raise the roof 

Example

President Bush makes the familiar "raise the roof" gesture while chanting "What! What!" during his rousing cover of the Big & Rich hit single "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)" at a rally in Florida.

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i dare ya 

In what must have been one helluva a drunken dare, somebody stole the state flag from the pole in front of the police station.

Also in today's news, police in North Carolina arrested a Pakistani man with suspicious implied terrorist scouting video of local landmarks.

My confidence in local law enforcement to protect and prevent acts of terrorism is not bolstered by their inability to protect and prevent someone from stealing their flag from their front door.


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Thursday, August 05, 2004

for the land of the free 

and the home of the brave?

Example
downtown D.C.

Example
downtown Basra

(photos courtesy of Yahoo! News)

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Wednesday, August 04, 2004

pork! 

Well now, a woman in Florida was fired for eating "something with ham on it"

Why, it's almost un-Amercian for anything not to have ham on it, ain't it? Well, it should be.

Do you see. . . do you see now what is wrong with these heathen people that want to blow us up?

They don't like bacon. What's not to like about the salty crisp smoky goodness of bacon? They don't like Jimmy Dean sausage? How could you not like Jimmy Dean sausage? They've never sat down after church on Sunday and enjoyed a smoked ham with their extended family.

The bastards. I say nuke the whole damn part of the planet back to the stone age then send the guys in in the radiation suits and the drilling equipment so we can get the oil for our SUV's.

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Tuesday, August 03, 2004

wisdom of the elders, revisited 

As my pappy used to say:

"jus'cuz you painted stripes on the mule, don' mean you can call it a zebra"

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mad 

My most esteemed friend, and not so frequent as it once was partner in decadence, Cardinal Fang commented on a recent post stating, "you're mad... you know that, right?"

Well, as my dear friend is a Limey, I shall assume he means "mad" in the "as a hatter" British way and not the impetuous tantruming way that is the familiar way to us Yanks.

Well, my dear readers, I must set the record straight. I dare say I am scarcely a smidge this side of taking umbrage with the suggestion that my sanity may be in question.

If it is "mad" to be a voice for the voiceless, sight for the blind and ears for the deaf, to provide strength for the weak, to do for those who don't, to be a rock of stability in lives full of chaos, to champion the rights of the downtrodden, and for God sake's do it all because it's for the damn children. . .

If it is "mad" to do as Walt Whitman wrote:

"Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown, or to any man or number of men -- go freely with powerful uneducated persons, and with the young, and with the mothers or families -- re-examine all you have been told in school or church or in any book, and dismiss whatever insults your own soul; and your very flesh shall be a great poem." (from the 1855 preface to 'Leaves of Grass')

Then I stand before you as a madman.

I will go on, ever forward, living the words of inspirational wisdom the late great Orson Welles spoke so righteously on the song "Defender" by the greatest Viking Goth Death Metal rockers of all time, Manowar:

"Now your mission lies ahead of you
As did mine so long ago
To help the helpless ones who all look up to you
And to defend them to the end

Defender
Ride like the wind
Fight proud, my son
You're the defender
God has sent"


Death to False Metal. Into Glory Ride.

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riddler 


riddler
Originally uploaded by dr-noyz.

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not so rhetorical question 

If you were to hypothetically speculate, oh, I don't know. . .
Let's say, hypothetically, that something really bad is about to happen,
Like right here right about now in this country. . .
Something like made for Sunday Night Movie of The Week really bad. . .
Carnage. . . Destruction. . . Societal Collapse into Anarchy. . .
Dogs and Cats living together. . .

And you knew about it. . .

What would you try to protect beforehand?
What would you fight the most to defend?

Well, that's kinda like one a them there no-brainers, ain't it?
You'd protect and fight for the things you most value and give meaning to your life.

So, which is it?

Your loved ones, your spouse and children. . .
Your family. . .

Or

That which you most covet and desire?

jest asking

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Monday, August 02, 2004

ask not 

"It seems like it's one thing to testify and there to be oversight," Bush said. "It's another thing to make sure the people engaged in protecting America don't spend all their time testifying. And so there's going to be some important reforms."

The same quote can also be found here.
__________

Insolent surf! Do not question the wisdom of your appointed and annointed leaders. Can't you see we are surrounded by evil? Don't you understand that I am much to busy protecting you from the lurking hand of never-ending evil to waste my valuable time with your childish little questions. Trust me! Who loves ya baby? That's right, I do. So sit down. Relax. Don't fret. Let me get you a blanket and some chamomile tea. Here ya go. . . Good. . . No more questions. Shut the fuck up! Love Big Brother.
__________

"Be a frog in a pot
Or not."

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a fact of life 

Sooner or later, everyone feels the need to gnaw on a turkey leg.

Embrace it!

Celebrate the circle of life by nourishing your body with the deliciously seasoned and slowly roasted dead flesh of another creature!

turkeyleg
Originally uploaded by dr-noyz.

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Sunday, August 01, 2004

which one's pink 

Thursday night long after The Wife and The Boy drifted into the world of dreams, I found myself watching MTV 2. I caught a show called Discover & Download and I saw a performance by a band called The Secret Machines.

Wow. Cool.

So Friday afternoon The Wife and I make a trip to the local music shop. She buys the new The Old 97s CD. Rhett Miller is a sexy beautiful slighty goofy rather hyper man.

On a whim, I seek out The Secret Machines and purchase Now Here Is Nowhere.

I am absolutely in love with this band.

I can only conclude that (according to their bio) they are the best thing to come from (and subsequently get out of) Dallas since me. [dislike the city, love some of its residents, don't understand why they don't or leave]

What refreshing music to hear after listening for hours to the mindless mall punk, that god awful rap metal, and ghetto sexy dumbed down hip hop that tragically have taken over our airwaves in the interests of big corporate greed.

Dr. Noyz says, "Check it out. Two thumbs up. Fully erect with two snaps and a twist."

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frogs in pots 

As further evidence of the current regime's nefarious scheming with what can only be The Dark Lord to further erode, evade, and outright ignore the civil liberties that identify America as the Land of The Free I offer this:

Some Democrats seeking Cheney tickets had to sign oath

I beg your fucking pardon.

RIO RANCHO, N.M. (AP) -- Some Democrats who signed up to hear Vice President Dick Cheney speak here Saturday were refused tickets unless they signed a pledge to endorse President Bush.

The measure was a security step designed to avoid a disruption, which Bush campaign spokesman Dan Foley alleged Democrats were planning. Democratic Party officials denied it."


Sign a pledge? Dubya's folks made people, American citizens, sign a pledge to endorse, and in essence pledge your loyalty to the current regime. They discrimated against a group of citizens based upon their political affiliation.

"a security step designed to avoid a disruption"? Any expression of dissent might fracture the fragile illusion of a government of, by and for the people and reveal the increasingly ugly truths of the oligarchy.

Once again, I beg your fucking pardon.

I was under the impression that the Vice President, as well as The President laboriously toil unceasingly for all American, not just for the shallow needs of a selected few. They are accountable to all of us.

Kerry campaign spokesman Ruben Pulido Jr. agrees, "I think that every American should have the right to see their vice president and hear from him firsthand what he plans to do for our country," Pulido said.

__________

We are all frogs in pots upon the stove.



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