Thursday, February 23, 2006
longing for the salad days?
I'm not sure why, but for some reason, however bizarre and possibly twisted, I recently have had, well. . . I'm not really sure what to call it.
Craving is far too strong a word. A hankering perhaps, or maybe an inkling.
How we define it or attempt to categorize it semantically is ultimately meaningless, as it does nothing to dull or satiate the strange sensation of maybe almost odd desire to have it, if only for a single brief moment one final time.
And I've just been wondering. . .
Whatever happened to this?
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Craving is far too strong a word. A hankering perhaps, or maybe an inkling.
How we define it or attempt to categorize it semantically is ultimately meaningless, as it does nothing to dull or satiate the strange sensation of maybe almost odd desire to have it, if only for a single brief moment one final time.
And I've just been wondering. . .
Whatever happened to this?
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006
my valentine's day desire
As you are no doubt aware, my dear reader, The Wife's family hails from the Flatland and from the vast barren nothingness of West Texas. Folks out in that part of the world have a fervent devotion to President dubya. So great is their love for him, that dubya could probably fuck most of them in the ass, spin them around for a facial, and still most would gratefully relish the opportunity to lick their own shit off the presidential wang.
Seriously. It's almost that disgusting.
Complementing their love of dubya is an irrational hatred and equal fear of two people and the possibility of two events associated with these people.
1) Osama bin Laden and the next big terrorist attack
2) Hillary Clinton winning the White House.
While I do not believe my in-laws fall squarely into that camp, that is where they live and as such the majority of their views fall pretty much down the "Three G" party line: God, gridiron, and George W. Bush. The order of their devotion varies depending on the activity at hand.
As I have little belief or faith in any one of the three, I believe I am considered by most of my in-laws to be a kindhearted and likable heathen liberal hippie, probably doomed to Hell in the afterworld but a great guy in this one.
That somehow The Wife escaped being ingrained with such back-asswards thinking remains a blessing wrapped in a mystery.
This has lead to much good-natured taunting and teasing from both sides of the aisle at family gatherings. It is to that end, I sent the following email yesterday, "cc-ing" my in-laws as a courtesy for their horror and amusement.
__________
My darling Hillary,
My Love for you Burns with the Passion of Eternal Fire. Please, oh please, be mine.
Sadly, I realize my greatest desire may remain forever unfilled. You are already blessed with the good fortune to love and be loved by the handsome and charming William, a devoted husband, dedicated father, and Greatest President Ever.
If you cannot honor my humble request, then please, I beseech thee, grant me one small wish and continue your efforts to socialize our great nation's healthcare system so that I may seek treatment for my broken heart.
Devotedly yours,
- The Good Doctor Polymer Noyz
(an unwashed liberal hippie type)
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Seriously. It's almost that disgusting.
Complementing their love of dubya is an irrational hatred and equal fear of two people and the possibility of two events associated with these people.
1) Osama bin Laden and the next big terrorist attack
2) Hillary Clinton winning the White House.
While I do not believe my in-laws fall squarely into that camp, that is where they live and as such the majority of their views fall pretty much down the "Three G" party line: God, gridiron, and George W. Bush. The order of their devotion varies depending on the activity at hand.
As I have little belief or faith in any one of the three, I believe I am considered by most of my in-laws to be a kindhearted and likable heathen liberal hippie, probably doomed to Hell in the afterworld but a great guy in this one.
That somehow The Wife escaped being ingrained with such back-asswards thinking remains a blessing wrapped in a mystery.
This has lead to much good-natured taunting and teasing from both sides of the aisle at family gatherings. It is to that end, I sent the following email yesterday, "cc-ing" my in-laws as a courtesy for their horror and amusement.
__________
My darling Hillary,
My Love for you Burns with the Passion of Eternal Fire. Please, oh please, be mine.
Sadly, I realize my greatest desire may remain forever unfilled. You are already blessed with the good fortune to love and be loved by the handsome and charming William, a devoted husband, dedicated father, and Greatest President Ever.
If you cannot honor my humble request, then please, I beseech thee, grant me one small wish and continue your efforts to socialize our great nation's healthcare system so that I may seek treatment for my broken heart.
Devotedly yours,
- The Good Doctor Polymer Noyz
(an unwashed liberal hippie type)
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Sunday, February 12, 2006
hotmail sucks
My dear readers, a thousand apologies with begging for forgiveness. . .
My Hotmail email account has lapsed.
The bastards.
I stopped checking it regularly because you can only respond to so many offers for C I*A-L_I-S and V*I#A^G*$R*A without ending up with a 72 hour hard-on that requires the services of an entire team of underage illegal Asian sex slaves to assist you with handling (pun very much intended) the crisis. Three strange days indeed.
Not that that has happened mind you, it's offered only as an example of possibility.
As such, the account has sadly expired.
Again, a thousand apologies. . .
If you have endeavored to consult the doctor within the past couple months, please try again. I only pray your need was not urgent.
Please my dear reader, update your address book, I can now be reached here.
Thank you for your support.
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My Hotmail email account has lapsed.
The bastards.
I stopped checking it regularly because you can only respond to so many offers for C I*A-L_I-S and V*I#A^G*$R*A without ending up with a 72 hour hard-on that requires the services of an entire team of underage illegal Asian sex slaves to assist you with handling (pun very much intended) the crisis. Three strange days indeed.
Not that that has happened mind you, it's offered only as an example of possibility.
As such, the account has sadly expired.
Again, a thousand apologies. . .
If you have endeavored to consult the doctor within the past couple months, please try again. I only pray your need was not urgent.
Please my dear reader, update your address book, I can now be reached here.
Thank you for your support.
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Saturday, February 11, 2006
coming soon?
Hey my dear reader!
I know you've been sitting at your home cooling down between visits to free online porn sites or idling away the hours at the office continually checking my little online journal to find out what new and exciting (or old and mundane) things are going on in the life of the Good Doctor Polymer Noyz.
Well, lemme tell ya.
I haven't been writing as much because I have been working on musical pursuits.
"Musical wha-zoots?" you are doubtlessly asking yourself now.
Yes.
You see, my dear reader, although I am a highly regarded and accomplished teacher of children and young adults with multiple significant severe and profound cognitive and physical disabilities, that was not my first career choice.
"Teacher" was about third.
Following "Rock Star" and "TV Game Show Host".
As the first two never panned out, I drifted into the third. Oddly, or perhaps even ironically enough, personality traits and characteristics of the first two on the list are quite helpful and almost necessary in my success at the third.
Such are the ways of the world.
However, my passion for making what some may call music while others just noyz has not subsided. So I am endeavouring to record, produce, and publish a CD complete with lyric sheet and liner notes and all that fancy stuff, in my living room, on my iMac, using GarageBand (2 not 3, I have not yet upgraded).
I do this in bits and pieces in rare moments of being alone in my home or when The Wife and The Boy are sleeping. Which is the case now as it is relatively early on a Saturday morning. I need to get to work.
Strangely, I have not been sleeping as much. I seem to find the creative process refreshing.
That, or perhaps I will soon have a sleep deprivation induced psychotic break.
Such are the ways of the world.
As things develop, I will inform you as to how you can get my first hit single.
Thank you for your patience and support.
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I know you've been sitting at your home cooling down between visits to free online porn sites or idling away the hours at the office continually checking my little online journal to find out what new and exciting (or old and mundane) things are going on in the life of the Good Doctor Polymer Noyz.
Well, lemme tell ya.
I haven't been writing as much because I have been working on musical pursuits.
"Musical wha-zoots?" you are doubtlessly asking yourself now.
Yes.
You see, my dear reader, although I am a highly regarded and accomplished teacher of children and young adults with multiple significant severe and profound cognitive and physical disabilities, that was not my first career choice.
"Teacher" was about third.
Following "Rock Star" and "TV Game Show Host".
As the first two never panned out, I drifted into the third. Oddly, or perhaps even ironically enough, personality traits and characteristics of the first two on the list are quite helpful and almost necessary in my success at the third.
Such are the ways of the world.
However, my passion for making what some may call music while others just noyz has not subsided. So I am endeavouring to record, produce, and publish a CD complete with lyric sheet and liner notes and all that fancy stuff, in my living room, on my iMac, using GarageBand (2 not 3, I have not yet upgraded).
I do this in bits and pieces in rare moments of being alone in my home or when The Wife and The Boy are sleeping. Which is the case now as it is relatively early on a Saturday morning. I need to get to work.
Strangely, I have not been sleeping as much. I seem to find the creative process refreshing.
That, or perhaps I will soon have a sleep deprivation induced psychotic break.
Such are the ways of the world.
As things develop, I will inform you as to how you can get my first hit single.
Thank you for your patience and support.
|
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
girth
In celebration of her brother's birthday, last night The Wife, The Boy, and I dined with her brother, one of his friends, and her two sisters.
Following a brief discussion about Ron Jeremy's penis (perfect drinks after dinner conversation in most social situations), the friend told a story about a former college roommate who fished for girls by casting lines about his pole:
"I won't hit bottom, but I'll knock the shit out of the sides."
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Following a brief discussion about Ron Jeremy's penis (perfect drinks after dinner conversation in most social situations), the friend told a story about a former college roommate who fished for girls by casting lines about his pole:
"I won't hit bottom, but I'll knock the shit out of the sides."
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