bring the noyz

And so this is Christmas
And what have you done?
-- John Lennon

Yes, the holiday season is upon us like a drunken frat guy giving jello shots to an underage coed at a kegger.

Joy.

To the world.

No really, I totally mean that.

Please pardon my cynicism, my dear reader, and I will neither be ashamed nor embarassed to hear a snickeringly sarcastic "bah humbug" in response, but as usual, I am having difficulty fully embracing the alleged spirit of the season.

For many reasons, some of which I shall now further elaborate upon.

So do as I am doing (trust me, I do call myself doctor) and go make yourself a fat-honkin' screwdriver for breakfast, and I recommend using a very generous pour of citron vodka if available. It does make a difference. So does freshly squeezed orange juice, but that's a giant pain in the ass so go ahead and just pour it from a carton.

Then come back and join me. I'll wait. . .

. . . still waiting. . .

. . . waiting. . . oooh, no ice please, don't dilute a good thing. . .

. . . waiting. . .

Okay, your back. Good. I shall proceed.

And so this is Christmas. Yes, yes it is.

What have we done?

Well, as is typical, in a truly American fashion, the celebration of the birth of the Western world's original hippie, Mister Peace Love and Understanding, has been subverted and perverted into a celebration of all the grandiose excesses of a mass marketed consumer culture partying like it's 1999.

And yes baby, I do have a lion in my pocket ready 2 roar.

Really now, is there a better way to say "I celebrate and recognize the birth of Jesus, Our Lord and Savior" than buying a new X-Box 360 for a loved one.

What says "Hallelujah, Christ the Lord!" better than stampeding into a big box retailer at the crack of dawn, racing and wrestling your fellow citizens to piles of cheap crap imported from some Asian nation where children are virtually if not literally enslaved to put it all together for meager pennies.

Right. Bah dee fucking humbug.

Oops, all for now, The Boy and The Wife awaken. We have to work on setting up all the decorations and the tree.

While the Good Doctor is allowed to be a cynic, The Good Father and Good Husband is not.

It will be a very Merry Christmas.
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