bring the noyz

Do you, my dear reader, happen to know the driver of this vehicle:


If you do, please inform him that he is a dickhead.

Not just a dickhead, but a raging engorged purple throbbing prematurely oozing dickhead, a monstrous one-eyed wonder worm.

Yesterday afternoon The Wife and I loaded up The Boy, his wheelchair, and other accoutrement's of travel in the family truckster and bravely journeyed northwards to the consumer culture suburban hell that is the outlet mall. Yes, I know, I generally tend to avoid such places like the European nobility fleeing the cities during the time of The Plague.

However, school starts Monday, and The Boy needs new shoes. And there is a Converse store there. Ain't nothing but the finest going on my boy's feet.

Apparently most every other school age kid in the three or four county growing metropolitan area is also in need of apparel for the impending new school year.

We were crawling through a heavily congested parking lot in search of an open handicap accessible parking space, because as I have stated and those that know The Boy are well aware, The Boy uses a wheelchair.

So anyways, I see this herpes laden, syphilis dripping phallus tip pull up in this car

and pull right into a handicap parking space.

Perhaps it is a form of prejudice, it certainly is so in the literally meaning in that I was pre-judging this fellow. What the fuck, I'll plead guilty to that accusation. I've been round the block a time or two and have done a few laps round the parking lot at the mall before, so I pegged this guy the moment I saw him.

Anyways, as The Wife, The Boy and I are sitting stuck in the traffic in the outlet mall parking lot, trying to get to the area where Mister Penis-Tip is about to be in flagrant violation of the law. I start screaming at The Wife. Well okay, not really at her, because she is beautiful, perfect and wonderful and therefore could never upset me, but just screaming, "Agh! Look at that bastard! What a mother fucking bastard!"

I then watch in horror and disbelief as he parks his car in the handicap parking space. He glances in the rearview, adjusts his shades and his perfectly coiffed hair. He reaches down and pulls a handicap parking placard and hangs it from the mirror. I will now confess to having a brief moment of doubt, perhaps he does have a legitimate disability after all.

But no, oh no, I am not mistaken. He gets out of the car along with his passenger, a boy of around ten years or so. They walk to the curb in front of the car and together they run, yes run, across traffic and disappear into the crowd and the entrance to the mall.

What the fuck! Neither this man nor his passenger is any more disabled than Bruce Jenner at the 76 Olympics.

I know not where he got the permit, through means ill or legitimate, or if at one time it was rightfully his while he recovered from surgery or something. Perhaps it is issued to his elderly mother for whom he dutifully cares for everyday. I care not. The point is on that day and at that time, based on my observation, he had no rightful claim to park there.

Whatever.

Eventually, we made our way through the traffic and managed to secure a parking spot right next to the offending vehicle. I was sorely tempted to take my keys to that shiny exterior, but as that is not the way of Dr. King or Ghandi, and would have doubtlessly invoked the ire of The Wife, I opted against it.

The Wife did end up writing a rather scathing and scolding note about the true purpose of those parking spaces and how the driver was setting a horrible example of civic responsibility for his young passenger.

And I, well I opted to make public the actions of this dickhead and allow them to live forever in eternal infamy on the internet.
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