Sunday, April 11, 2004
anxiously awaiting a response from Mr. Colin Fritz
TO: ColinfritzC@netscape.net
SUBJECT: RE: HSBC Private Banking Enquiry
DATE: April 11, 2004
My Dear Sir,
As it has been several days since your last correspondence, I am concerned about your sincerity and intentions to successfully resolve our business together.
Currently, I am in the possession of multiple pieces of documentation which establish beyond all reasonable doubt my kinship relationship with my beloved late Uncle Walter Noyz. I am considering making direct contact with the banking establishments involved so that I may expediently and rightfully resolve this matter.
However, At this point and time I am willing to honor the terms of your request to protect of your career and family, as I am quite grateful for your intrumental role in bringing the matter of my dearly departed Uncle Walter's estate to my attention.
I as you are aware from my last letter, I find myself in, shall we say, a bit of a time crunch.
"When it rains it pours" as Aunt Gladys used to repeatedly remark, much to the annoynance of all around her, upon her discovery of Uncle Walter's secret life. He was not, as the entire family had been led to believe, a B-level Wayne Newton style entertainer who worked most of Las Vegas' lesser known off the Strip clubs and casinos. Following Uncle Walter's sudden and mysterious disappearance it came to our attention, that he was in fact, the night manager at a small bordello specializing in serving the unique needs of cross-dressing conventioneers. And when he was circumstantially linked to the casino robbery, well, "when it rains it pours."
In the past, I have found it necessary to supplement my income to properly support both my family and my previously mentioned recreational pursuits.
For the purposes of generating additional revenue for myself and an aquaintance in the health insurance industry, a venture was launched. He obtained the required insurance approval for me to perform surgical procedures whereby uneeded organs were removed from otherwise healthy individuals. Damn Mrs. Jackson and her weak heart. Her family has launched an investigation into her sudden and unexpected death.
My concerns of being implicated have greatly increased both my anxiety and my need.
I await further instruction.
Sincerely,
The Good Doctor Polymer Noyz
|
SUBJECT: RE: HSBC Private Banking Enquiry
DATE: April 11, 2004
My Dear Sir,
As it has been several days since your last correspondence, I am concerned about your sincerity and intentions to successfully resolve our business together.
Currently, I am in the possession of multiple pieces of documentation which establish beyond all reasonable doubt my kinship relationship with my beloved late Uncle Walter Noyz. I am considering making direct contact with the banking establishments involved so that I may expediently and rightfully resolve this matter.
However, At this point and time I am willing to honor the terms of your request to protect of your career and family, as I am quite grateful for your intrumental role in bringing the matter of my dearly departed Uncle Walter's estate to my attention.
I as you are aware from my last letter, I find myself in, shall we say, a bit of a time crunch.
"When it rains it pours" as Aunt Gladys used to repeatedly remark, much to the annoynance of all around her, upon her discovery of Uncle Walter's secret life. He was not, as the entire family had been led to believe, a B-level Wayne Newton style entertainer who worked most of Las Vegas' lesser known off the Strip clubs and casinos. Following Uncle Walter's sudden and mysterious disappearance it came to our attention, that he was in fact, the night manager at a small bordello specializing in serving the unique needs of cross-dressing conventioneers. And when he was circumstantially linked to the casino robbery, well, "when it rains it pours."
In the past, I have found it necessary to supplement my income to properly support both my family and my previously mentioned recreational pursuits.
For the purposes of generating additional revenue for myself and an aquaintance in the health insurance industry, a venture was launched. He obtained the required insurance approval for me to perform surgical procedures whereby uneeded organs were removed from otherwise healthy individuals. Damn Mrs. Jackson and her weak heart. Her family has launched an investigation into her sudden and unexpected death.
My concerns of being implicated have greatly increased both my anxiety and my need.
I await further instruction.
Sincerely,
The Good Doctor Polymer Noyz
|
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