Wednesday, November 10, 2004
false advertising
This evening was a typical weeknight of domestic bliss at the ol' Noyz household. I was dutifully cleaning up the dishes following dinner as The Wife and The Boy adjourned to the bedroom to put away some laundry.
The televison was on. It is almost always on. I was born in a house with a television always on. As it's Wednesday, we were patiently awaiting this week's new episode of Law & Order.
Television is a guilty pleasure, yes I realize, that rots your brain and saps your creativity. But with three hundred plus digital stations of quality entertainment with CD quality audio! C'mon man, are you made of stone? How could you not be enticed?
And really, it's still healthier than spending my evenings leaning on a bar with a never empty pint glass in one hand and an always burning Camel Light in the other. Such was life before The Wife and The Boy.
So cut me some slack on the whole TV thing, won'cha?
If, my dear reader, you have concerns regarding my media consumption I must tell you that I am trying to get over my AM talk radio addiction by spending more time listening to NPR. Perhaps it's only post election burnout and so will pass, but it has (finally?) occurred to me that a reasonable person can only listen to so many ignorant and/or angry conservative white people bitch, gloat, or whine in varying degrees and combinations.
But I digress. . . back to the TV thing. . .
So while I'm in the kitchen I hear this commericial. I hear it because I swear some sorry bastard that deserves a punch right in the god damned mouth is hiding somewhere cranking a volume knob to eleven everytime a program goes to a commericial break to make sure we hear a word from their sponsors.
First I hear a bunch of old hippies singing this song about taking a load off Fanny, who ever the fuck she is. I don't know, don't care, but I think "Hey! Old hippie party music. . . this has potential to be cool. . . I wonder what type of car I am supposed to go buy."
Then I hear something about seeing "more bars in more places". The voice in the ad repeats the phrase several times. More bars in more places? That sounds like the campaign slogan of a candidate for city council that I could have really supported. Sweet!
More bars in more places means more competition which ultimately benefits the consumer with greater choice which leads to lower prices, i.e. . . better drink specials and happy hour deals. It's all about the free market, baby!
And that's a solid conservative value.
Cool! I walk around the corner from the kitchen into our living room for a view of the television so I can better witness where this new bounty can be found.
Damn those marketing sons of bitches! I've just been sucker punched by the media. It's a freakin' ad for a cell phone company!
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The televison was on. It is almost always on. I was born in a house with a television always on. As it's Wednesday, we were patiently awaiting this week's new episode of Law & Order.
Television is a guilty pleasure, yes I realize, that rots your brain and saps your creativity. But with three hundred plus digital stations of quality entertainment with CD quality audio! C'mon man, are you made of stone? How could you not be enticed?
And really, it's still healthier than spending my evenings leaning on a bar with a never empty pint glass in one hand and an always burning Camel Light in the other. Such was life before The Wife and The Boy.
So cut me some slack on the whole TV thing, won'cha?
If, my dear reader, you have concerns regarding my media consumption I must tell you that I am trying to get over my AM talk radio addiction by spending more time listening to NPR. Perhaps it's only post election burnout and so will pass, but it has (finally?) occurred to me that a reasonable person can only listen to so many ignorant and/or angry conservative white people bitch, gloat, or whine in varying degrees and combinations.
But I digress. . . back to the TV thing. . .
So while I'm in the kitchen I hear this commericial. I hear it because I swear some sorry bastard that deserves a punch right in the god damned mouth is hiding somewhere cranking a volume knob to eleven everytime a program goes to a commericial break to make sure we hear a word from their sponsors.
First I hear a bunch of old hippies singing this song about taking a load off Fanny, who ever the fuck she is. I don't know, don't care, but I think "Hey! Old hippie party music. . . this has potential to be cool. . . I wonder what type of car I am supposed to go buy."
Then I hear something about seeing "more bars in more places". The voice in the ad repeats the phrase several times. More bars in more places? That sounds like the campaign slogan of a candidate for city council that I could have really supported. Sweet!
More bars in more places means more competition which ultimately benefits the consumer with greater choice which leads to lower prices, i.e. . . better drink specials and happy hour deals. It's all about the free market, baby!
And that's a solid conservative value.
Cool! I walk around the corner from the kitchen into our living room for a view of the television so I can better witness where this new bounty can be found.
Damn those marketing sons of bitches! I've just been sucker punched by the media. It's a freakin' ad for a cell phone company!
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