Monday, June 27, 2005
another public service
In keeping with today's theme of mildly vitriolic public service announcements, I kindly offer another.
It is directed at motorists, at the drivers of all automobiles and particularly those obscenely large behemoths somewhat misnamed as sport utility vehicles.
As you may recall, a couple months back I resumed my habit of bicycling around town three or four days a week as a means of exercise, to strengthen the body and refresh the mind.
My recent experiences have reminded me of lessons learned years ago.
Apparently when somebody is driving in this city, they typically do just that. They drive. That is to say, what they do is just drive, neglecting other tasks typically associated with the act of driving, like looking.
It is quite shocking to me to realize just how many drivers just drive without looking. How so many fail to remember the most basic rule of the road they are first taught as toddlers, "LOOK BOTH WAYS".
So, please drivers and friends of drivers, please pass along the following important public service announcement: "LOOK BOTH WAYS!"
In order to further drive home the point and to hopefully help you to remember this lesson, I am proud to publish here, for the first time, the lyrics to a song I wrote several years ago on this very topic:
Another fucking asshole in a fucking big-ass truck
If God made shit brains well then you'd probably be in luck
Another fucking asshole, some dumb yuppie bastard jerk
Hey put down that cell phone man, you're driving not at work
If God made piss brains if I were you I would not pee
Another fucking asshole, some bleached blonde beamer driving bitch
Please just pay attention please don't make my family rich
Thank you. That is all.
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It is directed at motorists, at the drivers of all automobiles and particularly those obscenely large behemoths somewhat misnamed as sport utility vehicles.
As you may recall, a couple months back I resumed my habit of bicycling around town three or four days a week as a means of exercise, to strengthen the body and refresh the mind.
My recent experiences have reminded me of lessons learned years ago.
Apparently when somebody is driving in this city, they typically do just that. They drive. That is to say, what they do is just drive, neglecting other tasks typically associated with the act of driving, like looking.
It is quite shocking to me to realize just how many drivers just drive without looking. How so many fail to remember the most basic rule of the road they are first taught as toddlers, "LOOK BOTH WAYS".
So, please drivers and friends of drivers, please pass along the following important public service announcement: "LOOK BOTH WAYS!"
In order to further drive home the point and to hopefully help you to remember this lesson, I am proud to publish here, for the first time, the lyrics to a song I wrote several years ago on this very topic:
Another fucking asshole in a fucking big-ass truck
If God made shit brains well then you'd probably be in luck
Another fucking asshole, some dumb yuppie bastard jerk
Hey put down that cell phone man, you're driving not at work
I'm jumping on my bicycle and cruising all aroundAnother fucking asshole in a fucking SUV
Pray some fucking idiot doesn't run me down
I'm jumping on my bicycle and cruising down the street
Pray that you don't send me and my soul to God to keep
Another fucking asshole, just another fucking asshole
Another fucking asshole, just another fucking asshole
If God made piss brains if I were you I would not pee
Another fucking asshole, some bleached blonde beamer driving bitch
Please just pay attention please don't make my family rich
I'm jumping on my bicycle and cruising all around
Pray some fucking idiot doesn't run me down
I'm jumping on my bicycle and cruising down the street
Pray that you don't send me and my soul to God to keep
Another fucking asshole, just another fucking asshole
Another fucking asshole, just another fucking asshole
Thank you. That is all.
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