bring the noyz

Please allow me to begin, my dear reader, by stating quite clearly for the record that I am not a gambling man. I'm just not. I'll sometimes make a small wager for the sport of it, and I play the weekly numbers with a gang of folks at work. But all things considered, I'm neither a big risk taker nor much of a gambler.

Although in all honesty I'll admit to sometimes after I've had a few. . .

. . . well, you just try to cast the first stone.

Despite the immortal wisdom of the Great Song (and there are few who will argue that point, because really now, how can you disagree with greatness?), you will not soon find me counting my money sitting at the table. Yes, yes, yes, of course I know there will be time enough for counting when the dealing's done.

It's just that, well, to be perfectly honest, I doubt you will find me sitting anywhere near the table.

Particularly if the stakes are any higher than who's buying the next round.

I guess what I am leading up to saying in a rather round about way is something like this:

I would certainly never do anything to jeopardize the safety and security of my family. I will take no chance that endangers or puts at risk the life and liberty of The Wife and The Boy.

Which is basically something that goes without saying. Because any man who would do otherwise cannot claim the title of Husband or Father.

Unless he's a dick.

Okay, now that I've made myself perfectly clear.

As I know we are all painfully aware by this point and time, there is a storm coming. And yes, it is one big bad ass mother fucking dogs and cats living together real wrath of God type storm.

There is no denying the wisdom of planning and preparation, or just flat out hauling ass if the circumstances dictate.

However. . .

Come the fuck on people.

Really now, at the closest point I live, along with the other fine people in my community around 150 miles from the coast, give or take a few.

We are also over 200 miles from where the storm is anticipated to come ashore.

So, given the worst case scenario, it basically, what. . . rains really hard for a day or two. . . gets a little windy. . . maybe the lights go out for a little while. . . (which on a slightly related note has me wondering if there will be a post-Katrina/Rita spike in the birthrate in many of the lesser affected areas about eight or nine months from now. "Ah c'mon honey, you can't watch your stories on the TV now anyhow. Wha'd'ya say?")

Which is different from spring time around here. . . how?

I know we've got literally tens of thousands of most likely a little freaked and in some cases outright traumatized people coming up from the coast seeking refuge in our fair city.

There's kinda that crazy impending catastophe vibe in the air.

So much that it has apparently clouded reason.

The grocery stores in my area are currently experiencing big shortages, if not outright outages, of water, batteries, etc. There have been huge lines at gas stations as fears of running out begin to spread like the vaporous fumes of the product.

Again I say, we are over 200 miles from where the thing is expected to hit. Even if it traveled straight up the current parking lot of a highway from the coast to our city, it would basically just be a big storm by the time it got here.

Okay yes, in all likelihood still a really really outright freakishly big storm, but no longer the Killer Hurricane sent by God to Destroy the Sinner Heathens and Punish the Non-Believers.

Everybody knows those people live in Houston, or New Orleans.

So show some sense, just a little, please.

No really, please.

That being said. . .

It was with some sense of relief that when I stopped at the neighborhood convenience store this afternoon I noticed seemingly ample supplies of both bottled water and batteries.

Ah, the good people of my neighborhood have not succumbed to the panic.

I also noticed that the store's supplies of beer and cigarettes seemed to be a little low.

My faith in humanity has been restored.
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