Wednesday, March 31, 2004
the plot thickens (or "whatever became of old Uncle Walter")
another interesting e-mail (ooh, and it apparently came all the way from London!)
_______________
From : midconsult123@netscape.net
Sent : Tuesday, March 30, 2004 1:44 PM
To : drnoyz@hotmail.com ("Polymer Noyz")
Subject : RE: HSBC Private Banking Enquiry
Dear Polymer Noyz,
Thank you for your reply to our enquiry which was made by our consulting firm on behalf of the Private Banking Division of the HSBC Group. Though we know that you are not entirely updated With the details of this enquiry we are however constrained by law to the amount of information that can be made available. It has been very difficult trying to locate any one who is directly related to Mr. Walter Noyz, who was a customer of our client. He employed the services of the HSBC Private Banking for so many years but was always very private about his family. We have exhausted all possible means in trying to get any possible next of kin.
However at this stage in accordance with the banking regulation covering inheritance (United Kingdom Inheritance Act) We believe we have exhausted all possible avenues and will have to put the matter to rest. We are sorry that on this occasion we cannot establish any relationship between yourself and the client in question. We hope this has not caused any inconvenience to your person. We thank you once again for your assistance.
Deborah B. Gray.
Midland Consulting Limited.
For: HSBC Private Banking Division,
London.
_______________
Damn it! It appears as those BASTARDS with the MCL are trying to screw me out of my share of Uncle Walter's inheritance.
_______________
To: midconsult123@netscape.net
Re: RE: HSBC Private Banking Enquiry
Dear Ms. Gray,
"We are sorry that on this occasion we cannot establish any relationship between yourself and the client in question."
You cannot establish any relationship?
Uncle Walter's been married to my mother's sister Gladys since March 25, 1972. I know this for an absolute fact because I've heard the story from Grandma a thousand times if I've heard it once. It was so unseasonably warm on the Saturday they got married that all the icing on the wedding cake melted and the porcelain bride and groom slid right off the top and shattered all over the floor of the church basement. Almost ruined the whole day.
And bless ol' Aunt Gladys, even after Uncle Walter ran off, she kept his photo by her bedside until she died of a broken heart and the gout back in 1998. She never did get a divorce and they had no children of their own on account of Uncle Walter's narrow urethra.
What more proof could you possibly need?
If I am intitled to an inheritance, I damn well intend to get it.
Sincerely,
Dr. Polymer Noyz
|
_______________
From : midconsult123@netscape.net
Sent : Tuesday, March 30, 2004 1:44 PM
To : drnoyz@hotmail.com ("Polymer Noyz")
Subject : RE: HSBC Private Banking Enquiry
Dear Polymer Noyz,
Thank you for your reply to our enquiry which was made by our consulting firm on behalf of the Private Banking Division of the HSBC Group. Though we know that you are not entirely updated With the details of this enquiry we are however constrained by law to the amount of information that can be made available. It has been very difficult trying to locate any one who is directly related to Mr. Walter Noyz, who was a customer of our client. He employed the services of the HSBC Private Banking for so many years but was always very private about his family. We have exhausted all possible means in trying to get any possible next of kin.
However at this stage in accordance with the banking regulation covering inheritance (United Kingdom Inheritance Act) We believe we have exhausted all possible avenues and will have to put the matter to rest. We are sorry that on this occasion we cannot establish any relationship between yourself and the client in question. We hope this has not caused any inconvenience to your person. We thank you once again for your assistance.
Deborah B. Gray.
Midland Consulting Limited.
For: HSBC Private Banking Division,
London.
_______________
Damn it! It appears as those BASTARDS with the MCL are trying to screw me out of my share of Uncle Walter's inheritance.
_______________
To: midconsult123@netscape.net
Re: RE: HSBC Private Banking Enquiry
Dear Ms. Gray,
"We are sorry that on this occasion we cannot establish any relationship between yourself and the client in question."
You cannot establish any relationship?
Uncle Walter's been married to my mother's sister Gladys since March 25, 1972. I know this for an absolute fact because I've heard the story from Grandma a thousand times if I've heard it once. It was so unseasonably warm on the Saturday they got married that all the icing on the wedding cake melted and the porcelain bride and groom slid right off the top and shattered all over the floor of the church basement. Almost ruined the whole day.
And bless ol' Aunt Gladys, even after Uncle Walter ran off, she kept his photo by her bedside until she died of a broken heart and the gout back in 1998. She never did get a divorce and they had no children of their own on account of Uncle Walter's narrow urethra.
What more proof could you possibly need?
If I am intitled to an inheritance, I damn well intend to get it.
Sincerely,
Dr. Polymer Noyz
|
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