Monday, October 18, 2004
an undisputable election
It is barely two weeks before the the politicos poll their punches, their suits fling the lawsuits, and their pundits sling the pablum in what will in all probability be the greatest electoral mess in the history of the United States.
I am pleased to report that not all elections are destined to become complete and utter trainwrecks.
Angelina Jolie has just been voted the "Sexiest Woman Alive".
Surely, the result of this election will give reason for the people in both the red and the blue states to join their hands and nod their heads in complete agreement.
If, for some weird reason you disagree with the fine folks at Esquire magazine I can only say this:
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If you need further evidence, I recommend you take the advice of The Good Doctor and click here. Oooh that's good, now click here. Yeah, ah, ah, ah, yes. . . more to the right. . . lightly. . . oh that's the spot. Ah, ah, ah, ooooh. . . click it, baby, click it! Yes, yes, oh yes, that's freaking great. Aaaaah. Oooh, slow it down, move the mouse slowly. . . yes, ooh, slowly, gently. . . AAAGH! Click it, click it! Click, click here, please, oh yeah, baby! Yes! Yes! Oh, freaking yes! Mmmmm. . . ah. . . uh. . . ah. . . YEAH!
(insert long awkward silence here)
_______________
My dear reader, The Good Doctor may not be exactly that right now. Please accept my most humble of apologies. You see. . . um. . . this is most delicate. How shall I put this?
Perhaps you are familiar with the phrase, "physician, heal thyself". Yes? Good.
Well, you see, my dear reader, every once in a great while The Good Doctor Noyz, um. . . in the interest of healthy living, obviously. . . shall we say, "overprescribes" his cure for "what ails ya", as it were.
I must confess that the possibility exists that the previous instance may have been one such of those occurences. It subsequently may have lead to a lack of discretion and a complete disregard for societal rules of common decency on my part. I am most dreadfully sorry.
I thank you for your continued patronage and support.
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I am pleased to report that not all elections are destined to become complete and utter trainwrecks.
Angelina Jolie has just been voted the "Sexiest Woman Alive".
Surely, the result of this election will give reason for the people in both the red and the blue states to join their hands and nod their heads in complete agreement.
If, for some weird reason you disagree with the fine folks at Esquire magazine I can only say this:
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If you need further evidence, I recommend you take the advice of The Good Doctor and click here. Oooh that's good, now click here. Yeah, ah, ah, ah, yes. . . more to the right. . . lightly. . . oh that's the spot. Ah, ah, ah, ooooh. . . click it, baby, click it! Yes, yes, oh yes, that's freaking great. Aaaaah. Oooh, slow it down, move the mouse slowly. . . yes, ooh, slowly, gently. . . AAAGH! Click it, click it! Click, click here, please, oh yeah, baby! Yes! Yes! Oh, freaking yes! Mmmmm. . . ah. . . uh. . . ah. . . YEAH!
(insert long awkward silence here)
_______________
My dear reader, The Good Doctor may not be exactly that right now. Please accept my most humble of apologies. You see. . . um. . . this is most delicate. How shall I put this?
Perhaps you are familiar with the phrase, "physician, heal thyself". Yes? Good.
Well, you see, my dear reader, every once in a great while The Good Doctor Noyz, um. . . in the interest of healthy living, obviously. . . shall we say, "overprescribes" his cure for "what ails ya", as it were.
I must confess that the possibility exists that the previous instance may have been one such of those occurences. It subsequently may have lead to a lack of discretion and a complete disregard for societal rules of common decency on my part. I am most dreadfully sorry.
I thank you for your continued patronage and support.
|
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