Tuesday, December 28, 2004
sick, part three
THINGS I LEARNED AT THE HOSPITAL
on Christmas Eve with The Boy
(in no particular order)
- "a few minutes" in hospital time = over an hour in regular time; "15 - 20 minutes" in hospital time = at least two hours in regular time.
- Hospitals are horrible places to rest and recover. You are not allowed to rest uninterupted for more than an hour or two, as nurses, therapists, and assistants are constantly coming and going. They are very noisy places. Nurses must have poor eyesight and are hard of hearing, as they are apparently unable to do anything quietly or without turning on the bright lights above the bed. This is particularly true between the hours of midnight and 6:00 am.
- If you shake or pat on The Boy in a gentle repetitive way you can set off every alarm on the vital signs monitor that is connected to him. This causes nurses to come running. This is especially effective and amusing right after a shift change.
- Don't touch the buttons.
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on Christmas Eve with The Boy
(in no particular order)
- "a few minutes" in hospital time = over an hour in regular time; "15 - 20 minutes" in hospital time = at least two hours in regular time.
- Hospitals are horrible places to rest and recover. You are not allowed to rest uninterupted for more than an hour or two, as nurses, therapists, and assistants are constantly coming and going. They are very noisy places. Nurses must have poor eyesight and are hard of hearing, as they are apparently unable to do anything quietly or without turning on the bright lights above the bed. This is particularly true between the hours of midnight and 6:00 am.
- If you shake or pat on The Boy in a gentle repetitive way you can set off every alarm on the vital signs monitor that is connected to him. This causes nurses to come running. This is especially effective and amusing right after a shift change.
- Don't touch the buttons.
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