bring the noyz

Or maybe not.

I've spent the past two days thinking about this posting. I've had it saved as a draft, and had many arguments with myself about whether or not I should just click the damn "publish your post" button and be done with it.

Well, whoever said "discretion is the better part of valor" deserves to be dug up and bitch-slapped, because those damn words keep coming back to me. They're fucking true. Wish they weren't. With every fiber in my being I want to create a god-damned media circus and be the Ringmaster.

After much introspection, I have concluded that it is not yet the time.

Court cases and criminal charges are pending. The subpeona's are coming. No one is satisfied if you blow your wad early. Most of us learned that lesson when we were in our teens.

The day will come when the attorneys, caseworkers, and reporters have all gone away. If Our Story is not yet told to our satisfaction by that time, well. . .

I've hope for the documentary that Mrs. Cardinal apparently wants quite badly to film.

Either that or Stone Phillips. Try to tell me that isn't the kinda shit the DATELINE eats for breakfast.

The past two days have been filled with phone calls, taken by primarily, nay, almost exclusively by The Wife. Phone calls from State Child Protection Agency caseworkers and Program Directors, calls from reporters, calls from attorneys, calls from The Mole and former employees of Ms. von Munchausen's so-called Home for Children with Significant Medical Needs.

So, bearing all that in mind, I present, a self-censored and slightly edited version of a posting originally written on April 13, 2004.
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An explanation of yesterday's string of expletives, courtesy of our local ABC affiliate, complete with my editorializing.

The top story on their six o'clock news was about the police investigating Ms von Munchausen's so-called Home for Children with Significant Medical needs. The genie is out of the bottle.

Since this whole stream of ranting and the saga of The Boy began, I have changed the names, places, and other information which could have identified any of the people involved. Because, really, it's nobody's freaking business what the names are. And I've kinda always believed names don't matter if you got a good story to tell.

And so, dragnet style, the names have been, and will continue to be, changed to protect the innocent.

While the guilty are not entitled to such protection, I have already stated my reasons for continuing to do so.
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"Officials tell our local ABC affiliate news a criminal investigation underway, involving the possibility of what's called Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy. That is a term associated with a parent making a child sick to gain attention."

HOLY SHIT! Officials? What officials? Who told them that? They're dead on correct. But we never expected to hear it leading the evening news. If you download the video, note how it lingers in slow motion over the old file shot of Ms. von Munchausen shortly following that statement. Slightly subtle, very sweet.

"On Tuesday crime lab technicians with the Police Department found and removed one jar filled with mercury -- about the size of a small container of olives."

Mercury! When administered in small doses over extended periods of time, it can cause EVERY DAMNED SYMPTOM of EVERY CHILD. It is virtually undetectible, because no sane person would ever think to test for it, because using it to slowly poison children over an extended period of time is a thought that is basically inconceivable to conventional medicine.

However, if you know what you're looking for. . . it's just a simple blood test.

Mercury. Hidden in her bedroom. Yeah, we learned that yesterday.

Anyone and everyone who has ever had the unpleasant experience of having to work with Ms. von Munchausen knows that she is a horrible parent, a worse nurse, and basically an angry self-centered ego-centric bitter woman. She is a hypochondriac at the least.

Ms. von Munchausen once had 48-hour breast cancer. Really. No lie. Ask The Wife next time you see her. She once caught a bad case of the flu because The Wife had a bad hangover and called in sick saying she had the flu as her excuse.

But this. . . oh, sweet merciful crap. A bottle of mercury hidden in her bedroom! There is no legitimate reason for this.

Is Ms. von Munchausen a crazy-assed bee-otch? Fuck yes! . . . but to a degree that leaves even the most passionate critics of Ms. von Munchausen surprised and totally freaked out.

This just cranks the whole ugly mess up to eleven.

I want to go take a shower to try to wash the filth and the stench off after writing about it.

That's why I let forth a string of expletives. We had just returned from having The Boy tested for exposure. Yet another time I had to hold, reassure, and comfort The Boy while strangers stuck a needle in his vein because of the evil that woman has done.

Now it's a week of waiting for the test results. Waiting and hoping and praying.

"one was taken to the hospital on March 7" -- Check my archives for March if you can't already guess which one.

"A Public Relations Expert was hired by the Board of Directors of Ms. von Munchausen's so-called Home for Children with Significant Medical Needs to answer media questions, along The Lawyer for the board."

Public relations expert? Who's paying him? Where did a non-profit that is supposed to spend all of their money on children get the funds to hire a big PR gun? Curiouser and curiouser. Methinks they doth protest too much.

Developing. . .
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