Tuesday, September 28, 2004
you might be a redneck
if you disagree with this posting. If you are, my dear reader, you must allow me to follow through on a quote from a true Texan and fine American (and thus not a redneck), and "kick your damn ass".
If my directness offends, then go fuck yourself (but please, my dear reader, keep reading first).
As I'm sure you will recall from a previous posting, The Wife and I occasionally chill out on the sofa with a bottle or two of cheap convenience store booze after The Boy is snug in his bed for the night and watch music videos.
Sometimes we watch country music videos because they are exactly, yes you read that right, exactly, like the videos from the glorious 80's era of the Hair Bands. They come complete with gyrating barely clad bimbos and dudes that except for the haircuts and hats look just like freakin' Def Leppard. Hell, most of them sound like freakin' Def Leppard put through some sort of twangy guitar music filter. And Def Leppard (as The Wife will tell you and if you say otherwise she'll kick your damn ass) rocks!
This past weekend we had such an opportunity.
Don't give my your shit. Don't need it, don't want it.
And I'm sure that you all also recall my 9th grade American History teacher's country music theory.
Yes, yes, yes. I know.
Yes, everybody knows that what passes for country music nowadays sucks giant ass.
But really, how many whining pretend-punk teen-angst anthems, "I'm so misunderstood" pseudo rap-metal bullshit, or ultra-mega-crappy giant piles of festering dung can one man be expected to take before he starts frantically pushing buttons on the remote like the protaganist near the end of a Cold War era spy film trying to get the right code to save the world from the Evil Villian's Doomsday Device?
So, cut me some slack, won'cha!?
Anyway, getting back to my point. . .
Had he not rhymed "Bin-Laden" with "forgotten", there is little doubt that Darryl Worley would have surely lost the title to a quite horrific John Michael Montgomery song.
But. . .
No winning streak can last forever.
The current winner in the category of "Worst Bit of Ignorant Pig/Cousin/Sister-Fucking Gung (and Gun)-Ho "Love it or Leave it" Back Asswards Country Song" is. . . (the envelope please)
Montgomery Gentry, with their amazingly bad song and even more ridiculous video, "You Do Your Thing".
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If my directness offends, then go fuck yourself (but please, my dear reader, keep reading first).
As I'm sure you will recall from a previous posting, The Wife and I occasionally chill out on the sofa with a bottle or two of cheap convenience store booze after The Boy is snug in his bed for the night and watch music videos.
Sometimes we watch country music videos because they are exactly, yes you read that right, exactly, like the videos from the glorious 80's era of the Hair Bands. They come complete with gyrating barely clad bimbos and dudes that except for the haircuts and hats look just like freakin' Def Leppard. Hell, most of them sound like freakin' Def Leppard put through some sort of twangy guitar music filter. And Def Leppard (as The Wife will tell you and if you say otherwise she'll kick your damn ass) rocks!
This past weekend we had such an opportunity.
Don't give my your shit. Don't need it, don't want it.
And I'm sure that you all also recall my 9th grade American History teacher's country music theory.
Yes, yes, yes. I know.
Yes, everybody knows that what passes for country music nowadays sucks giant ass.
But really, how many whining pretend-punk teen-angst anthems, "I'm so misunderstood" pseudo rap-metal bullshit, or ultra-mega-crappy giant piles of festering dung can one man be expected to take before he starts frantically pushing buttons on the remote like the protaganist near the end of a Cold War era spy film trying to get the right code to save the world from the Evil Villian's Doomsday Device?
So, cut me some slack, won'cha!?
Anyway, getting back to my point. . .
Had he not rhymed "Bin-Laden" with "forgotten", there is little doubt that Darryl Worley would have surely lost the title to a quite horrific John Michael Montgomery song.
But. . .
No winning streak can last forever.
The current winner in the category of "Worst Bit of Ignorant Pig/Cousin/Sister-Fucking Gung (and Gun)-Ho "Love it or Leave it" Back Asswards Country Song" is. . . (the envelope please)
Montgomery Gentry, with their amazingly bad song and even more ridiculous video, "You Do Your Thing".
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