bring the noyz

Or more precisely, pneumonia morning.

And what a night it has been.

The first few hours were golden. The Boy slept peacefully, he was breathing well and sustaining his blood oxygen levels on the lowest amount of oxygen since we've been here. Around 2:00 am he woke up coughing and freaked out.

He's got to stop doing that. It's starting to get to me. And more importantly, he's got to stop scaring the hospital staff. Sometime between 4 and 5 we had the nurse and the respiratory therapist in here working with him, trying to get him just to fucking breath better. They were trying to hide it, but they were nervous and they were scared. And that's what scares me. The Boy doesn't scare me. People's reactions to The Boy when he is sick do.

But his oxygen sats were dropping and nothing was working.

Sometimes nothing does. It's just one of his quirks, something he's always done. His illness makes everything more exaggerated and dangerous. You just have to throw your hands in the air or fold them in prayer and give him time to come out of it on his own. He always does. He did last night.

We have begun very uncomfortable and unpleasant conversations with a wonderful doctor about what we will do if and when the time comes when he doesn't.

But again, last night he did. He is an amazingly tenacious and strong kid. Although it has been a rough 4 hours, he is again calm and breathing easier. He is almost fast asleep.

And I'm feeling just plain three steps beyond frazzled.

I just keep telling myself, "he is getting better, he is getting better."

We will be here for Thanksgiving, but hopefully not much longer.
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