Friday, April 16, 2004
late uncle walter update
To: Colin Fritz, ColinfritzC@netscape.net
Re: unfinished business
Date: April 16, 2004
Mr. Colin Fritz,
I trust that your recent lack of communication is due to your preoccupation with making the neccessary arrangements for us to proceed with our transaction.
I have previously explained the predicament in which I currently find myself.
My current situation is rapidly becoming urgent. My colleagues suddenly stop conversations in mid sentence and begin to discuss the finals of "American Idol" when they see me approach. Hints and allegations are beginning to follow me like my shadow in the mid-day sun.
I grow increasingly concerned about the security and prosperity of myself and my family, as would any good family man under these circumstances.
It is time for action.
Allow me a make a rather vulgar metaphor: There are people that need to be stroked. You can help me to provide the lubrication.
The thought has occurred to me, that this whole thing is a con and a scam.
I wonder if your enquiries were designed to obtain sufficient information from me about my dearly departed Uncle Walter for you to proceed without me and subsequently pocket his estate entirely for yourself.
That sir, is quite despicable and entirely unacceptable. While I find your recent usage of terms such as "blackmail" premature, let there be no doubt that I will take whatever action is required to secure my fair share of my loved and late Uncle Walter's inheritance.
As I have no reason to doubt that you are an honorable man, I am willing to credit my thoughts to paranoia brought on by my current level of anxiety.
"Let's get on with it, shall we?" - David Letterman
I await your further instructions.
Sincerely,
The Good Doctor Polymer Noyz
|
Re: unfinished business
Date: April 16, 2004
Mr. Colin Fritz,
I trust that your recent lack of communication is due to your preoccupation with making the neccessary arrangements for us to proceed with our transaction.
I have previously explained the predicament in which I currently find myself.
My current situation is rapidly becoming urgent. My colleagues suddenly stop conversations in mid sentence and begin to discuss the finals of "American Idol" when they see me approach. Hints and allegations are beginning to follow me like my shadow in the mid-day sun.
I grow increasingly concerned about the security and prosperity of myself and my family, as would any good family man under these circumstances.
It is time for action.
Allow me a make a rather vulgar metaphor: There are people that need to be stroked. You can help me to provide the lubrication.
The thought has occurred to me, that this whole thing is a con and a scam.
I wonder if your enquiries were designed to obtain sufficient information from me about my dearly departed Uncle Walter for you to proceed without me and subsequently pocket his estate entirely for yourself.
That sir, is quite despicable and entirely unacceptable. While I find your recent usage of terms such as "blackmail" premature, let there be no doubt that I will take whatever action is required to secure my fair share of my loved and late Uncle Walter's inheritance.
As I have no reason to doubt that you are an honorable man, I am willing to credit my thoughts to paranoia brought on by my current level of anxiety.
"Let's get on with it, shall we?" - David Letterman
I await your further instructions.
Sincerely,
The Good Doctor Polymer Noyz
|
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